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Halloween Jokes Defination

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These nouns refer to something that is said or done in order to evoke laughter or amusement. Joke especially denotes an amusing story with a punch line at the end: told jokes at the party.

Jest suggests frolicsome humor: amusing jests that defused the tense situation.

A witticism is a witty, usually cleverly phrased remark: a speech full of witticisms.

A quip is a clever, pointed, often sarcastic remark: responded to the tough questions with quips.

Sally denotes a sudden quick witticism: ended the debate with a brilliant sally.

Crack and wisecrack refer less formally to flippant or sarcastic retorts: made a crack about my driving ability; punished for making wisecracks in class.

Gag is principally applicable to a broadly comic remark or to comic by-play in a theatrical routine: one of the most memorable gags in the history of vaudeville.

1. a humorous anecdote

2. something that is said or done for fun; prank

3. a ridiculous or humorous circumstance

4. a person or thing inspiring ridicule or amusement; butt

5. a matter to be joked about or ignored

6. joking apart seriously: said to recall a discussion to seriousness after there has been joking

7. no joke something very serious

8. (intr) to tell jokes

9. (intr) to speak or act facetiously or in fun

10. to make fun of (someone); tease; kid

[C17: from Latin jocus a jest]

joke - a humorous anecdote or remark intended to provoke laughterjoke - a humorous anecdote or remark intended to provoke laughter; "he told a very funny joke"; "he knows a million gags"; "thanks for the laugh"; "he laughed unpleasantly at his own jest"; "even a schoolboy's jape is supposed to have some ascertainable point"

gag, jape, jest, laugh

humor, wit, witticism, wittiness, humour - a message whose ingenuity or verbal skill or incongruity has the power to evoke laughter

gag line, punch line, tag line, laugh line - the point of a joke or humorous story

howler, sidesplitter, thigh-slapper, wow, belly laugh, riot, scream - a joke that seems extremely funny

blue joke, blue story, dirty joke, dirty story - an indelicate joke

ethnic joke - a joke at the expense of some ethnic group

funny, funny remark, funny story, good story - an account of an amusing incident (usually with a punch line); "she told a funny story"; "she made a funny"

in-joke - a joke that is appreciated only by members of some particular group of people

one-liner - a one-line joke

shaggy dog story - a long rambling joke whose humor derives from its pointlessness

sick joke - a joke in bad taste

sight gag, visual joke - a joke whose effect is achieved by visual means rather than by speech (as in a movie)

2. joke - activity characterized by good humor

jest, jocularity

diversion, recreation - an activity that diverts or amuses or stimulates; "scuba diving is provided as a diversion for tourists"; "for recreation he wrote poetry and solved crossword puzzles"; "drug abuse is often regarded as a form of recreation"

drollery, waggery - a quaint and amusing jest

leg-pull, leg-pulling - as a joke: trying to make somebody believe something that is not true

pleasantry - an agreeable or amusing remark; "they exchange pleasantries"

3. joke - a ludicrous or grotesque act done for fun and amusementjoke - a ludicrous or grotesque act done for fun and amusement

antic, prank, put-on, trick, caper

dirty trick - an unkind or aggressive trick

practical joke - a prank or trick played on a person (especially one intended to make the victim appear foolish)

4. joke - a triviality not to be taken seriously; "I regarded his campaign for mayor as a joke"

puniness, slightness, triviality, pettiness - the quality of being unimportant and petty or frivolous

Verb 1. joke - tell a joke; speak humorously; "He often jokes even when he appears serious"

jest

communicate, intercommunicate - transmit thoughts or feelings; "He communicated his anxieties to the psychiatrist"

quip, gag - make jokes or quips; "The students were gagging during dinner"

fool around, horse around, arse around, fool - indulge in horseplay; "Enough horsing around--let's get back to work!"; "The bored children were fooling about"

pun - make a play on words; "Japanese like to pun--their language is well suited to punning"

2. joke - act in a funny or teasing way

jest

behave, act, do - behave in a certain manner; show a certain behavior; conduct or comport oneself; "You should act like an adult"; "Don't behave like a fool"; "What makes her do this way?"; "The dog acts ferocious, but he is really afraid of people"

antic, clown, clown around - act as or like a clown

Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?

A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice

Q: What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?

A: Your job still sucks!

Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?

A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!

Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist?

A: By becoming a ventriloquist!

Q: What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild?

A: a $100 bill!

Q: Whats long and hard and has cum in it?

A: a cucumber

Q: How do you kill a circus clown?

A: Go for the juggler!

Q: Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?

A: They couldn't close his casket.

Q: Who was the worlds first carpenter?

A: Eve, because she made Adams banana stand

Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come (cum) in a bottle?

A: Because his wife died!

Q: What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A: a rip off

Q: Why did the snowman smile?

A: Because the snowblower is coming. One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

Q: Why is Santa so jolly?

A: Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Q: Why doesn’t Santa have any kids?

A: He only comes once a year. Girl: "Hey, what's up?" Boy: "If I tell you, will you sit on it?"

Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?

A: Dress her up as an alter boy.

Q: Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican?

A: They steal all the green cards.

Q: Why don't orphans play baseball?

A: They don't know where home is

Q: What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?

A: At least a zit waits until you’re a teenager before it cums on your face!

Q: What does it mean when your boyfriend is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. Boy: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, its too long." Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won't get it."

Q: How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck ?

A: When you pull her pants down her ass is still in them

Q: What do you call 2 guys fighting over a slut?

A: Tug-of-whore.

Q: What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?

A: A Quarter Ponder with Cheese.

Q: Why do they call it PMS?

A: Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken

Q: How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?

A: Pick him up and suck on his cock!

Q: What's slimy cold long and smells like pork?

A: Kermit the frogs finger

Q: What's a porn star's favorite drink?

A: 7 Up in cider.

Q: What's the difference between a bowling ball and a blonde?

A: You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball!

Q: What do preists and Mcdonalds have in common?

A: They both stick there meat in 10 year old buns

Q: What do you call a white guy surrounded by 9 black guys?

A: Steve Nash.

Q: Why can't Jesus play hockey?

A: He keeps getting nailed to the boards.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: Why do men get their great ideas in bed?

A: Because their plugged into a genius!

OWWW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings.

PRENATAL: when your life was still somewhat your own.

PREPARED CHILDBIRTH: a contradiction in terms.

PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes.

SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

STOREROOM: the distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.

TEMPER TANTRUMS: what you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

THUNDERSTORM: a chance to see how many family members can fit into one bed.

TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

VERBAL: able to whine in words.

WEAKER SEX: the kind you have after the kids have worn you out.

WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house.

WHOOPS: an exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge".

Lil' Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you The People. The nanny, well, consider her The Working Class. Your baby brother, we'll call him The Future. Now go think about this and see if it makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying and runs to his room only to find that his diapers are very soiled.

So the little boy goes to his parents' room. Mom is sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he looks through the peephole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand what politics is now."

"Good son, tell me in your own words then what politics are."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being

This page starts a new category of language humor, New Meanings for Old Words. We began with The Washington Post's alternate meanings for common words. However, we consider this page open-ended and we encourage you to let your imagination fly and send us the results. Come back at least once a month to see what is new here. Be sure to check at the bottom of this page as well as the top.

Apiary n. A sting operation. (Thank you, Eve Moody)

Mobilization n. Removing your land line and switching all calls to your mobile. (Thank you, Dr. Goodword)

Ramification n. A consequence that is forced down your throat. (Thank you, Andy Stein)

Politician n.Someone who shakes your hand befor an election and your confidence after it. (Thank you, Sam Fisher)

Stalemate (stale•mate) n. A leading cause of divorce.

Classic novel np. A book which people praise, but seldom read.

Compromise n. The art of slicing a cake in such a way that everyone believes they received the biggest piece.

Conference n. The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Conference room np. A place where everyone talks, no one listens, and later everyone disagrees about what was said.

Doctor n. A person who kills your ills with pills then kills you with bills.

Etc. abb. An abbreviation that makes others think you know more than you actually do.

Father n. The banker that nature provides.

Lecture n. The art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the lecturees without passing through the minds of either.