Blonde Jokes

Blonde Jokes Defination

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Q: Why do blondes make bad bankrobbers?
A: Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards


Q: What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny blonde?
A: One's a phony buck.


Q: Whats better than roses on a naked blonde?
A: Her Tulips ( two lips ) on your organ!


Q: What is every blonde's ambition in life?
A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.


Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been sighted.


Q: What can save a dying blonde?
A: Hair transplants..


Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets!


Q: How is a blonde like peanut-butter?
A: They spread for the bread.


Q: Why do blondes get confused in the ladies room?
A: They have to pull their own pants down.


Q: Why did the blonde get blown up into pieces
A: Because she bought a Palestinian Blow Up Doll from the Sex Shop


Q: Why do blondes wear panties?
A: To keep their ankles warm.


Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!


Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.


Q: How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day?
A: Give her a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."


Q: How can you tell a blonde has used your computer?
A: There is white out on the screen.


Q: How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?
A: Opens the car door.


Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.


Q: Why are blondes bad at Hide and Seek?
A: Because they can never find the sausage.


Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.


Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?
A: They both swallowed a lot of semen.


Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde?
A: Butter is difficult to spread.


Q: Why do blondes always want boob jobs?
A: Because it's the only job they are qualified for.


Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her.


Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.


Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A: Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.


Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved.


Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: They both get fucked up when they're on their back.


Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.


Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.


Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.


Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.


Q: What do you call a blond with a brain?
A: A golden retriever.


Q: Why did the blonde couple freeze to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".


Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!


Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.


Q: Why dont blondes talk while having sex?
A: Their moms told them NEVER to talk to strangers.


Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A blonde parade.


Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet?
A: Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.


Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?
A: She found out Big Ben is only a clock.


Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.


Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.


Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!


Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.


Q: What do Blondes say after sex? A1: Thanks Guys. A2: Are you boys all in the same band? A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?


Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.


Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.


Q: What do you call a hundred blondes stacked up on each other?
A: An air mattress.


Q: Where do you look for blondes' obituaries?
A: Under "Home Improvements."


Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.


Q: What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes?
A: She sticks it in the microwave!


Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.


Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?
A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.


Q: Why do blondes give such good blowjobs?
A: Because that's what they train for all their lives.


Q: Why did the blonde have square boobs?
A: Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the box!


Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche


Q: Why does a blonde dog have lumps on his head?
A: From chasing parked cars!


Q: Why did the blonde jump over the glass wall?
A: So she could see what was on the other side!


Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.


Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.


Q: What do blondes and dog shit have in common?
A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.


Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.


Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!


Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.


Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A: A whine cellar.


Q: What happened after the blonde ran to meet her long lost twin sister?
A: She got 7 years of bad luck for breaking her nose on the mirror


Q: How do you keep a blonde busy?
A: Put "flip" on both sides of a piece of paper!


Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.


Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?
A: Bobbing for French fries.


Q: What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool?
A: Air bubbles.


Q: What do you call an unmarried blonde in a BMW?
A: Divorcee'


Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.


Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.


Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.


Q: Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
A: It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.


Q: Why did the blonde keep taking off and putting the Pepsi bottle cap back on?
A: Because it said, "Sorry, try again."


Q: What do you call a blonde with pigtails?
A: A blow job with handle bars.


Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes go in first.


Q: Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar?
A: Because she heard the drinks were on the house.


Q: What do you get when you put two blondes in the freezer?
A: Frosted flakes.


Q: What's a brunette's mating call ?
A: Has that blonde gone yet?


Q: Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
A: So she can have a doggie bag for later.


Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.


Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?
A: They make good ankle warmers.


Q: How do you know when a blond's been in your frige?
A: Lipstick on the cucumbers!


Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.


Q: What do Blondes say after sex? A1: Thanks Guys. A2: Are you boys all in the same band? A3: Do you guys all play for the Swans?


Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.


Q: Why did the blonde give up bowling for screwing?
A: The balls are lighter, and you don't have to change shoes.


Q: What's the quickest way to get into a blondes pants?
A: Pick them up off the floor.


Q: Whats the difference between a pregnant blonde and a lightbulb?
A: You can unscrew a lightbulb


Q: What do blondes and railroad tracks have in common?
A: They get laid all over America.


Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"


Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"


Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A: Because they don't know any better.


Q: What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing, they haven't met!


Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.


Q: what is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold onto a thought. What do you call a brunette between two blondes? A mental block.


Q: What goes "Vroom...screech...vroom...screech...vroom...screech?"
A: A blonde at a flashing red light.


Q: Why can't blondes be cattle ranchers?
A: They can't keep their calves together!


Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.


Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag) ?
A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"


Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...


Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."


Q: What does a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
A: You can put three fingers in both of them, throw them in the gutter, and they'll still come back for more.


Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
A: Because she kept throwing away all of the W's A blonde went to the bathroom. She had to go #2. She got out of the bathroom and she went to her mom and said look mom I found a friend!


Q: What does a blonde and a tornado have in common?
A: At first there's a lot of sucking and blowing and then you lose your house!


Q: What do u call a blond with 2 ponytail ?
A: A blowjob with handelbars!


Q: How can you tell if a blonde woman is having a bad day?
A: If she is wearing a tampon in her ear and she cant find her pencil.


Q: If a blonde and a burnette were to jump off a bridge at the same time witch one would hit the water first?
A: The burnette cause the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.


Q: Why did the blonde highjack a plane and demand to be taken to Jeopardy
A: Because she was told that 1000 jobs were in Jeopardy.


Q: how do you recognise a blonde at the beach

A: They were their g-strings back to front

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