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Really Funny Jokes Defination

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Apiary n. A sting operation. (Thank you, Eve Moody)
Mobilization n. Removing your land line and switching all calls to your mobile. (Thank you, Dr. Goodword)
Ramification n. A consequence that is forced down your throat. (Thank you, Andy Stein)
Politician n.Someone who shakes your hand befor an election and your confidence after it. (Thank you, Sam Fisher)
Stalemate (stale•mate) n. A leading cause of divorce.
Classic novel np. A book which people praise, but seldom read.
Compromise n. The art of slicing a cake in such a way that everyone believes they received the biggest piece.
Conference n. The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Conference room np. A place where everyone talks, no one listens, and later everyone disagrees about what was said.
Doctor n. A person who kills your ills with pills then kills you with bills.
Etc. abb. An abbreviation that makes others think you know more than you actually do.
Father n. The banker that nature provides.
Lecture n. The art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the lecturees without passing through the minds of either.
Office n. A place where you can relax after a strenuous night at home.
Smile n. A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Tears n. The means by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.
Acre n. Someone that aches
Afterdraft n. Life following conscription
Atomize v. To transform from a male cat to a female.
Carnation n. Country where each citizen owns an automobile
Childhood n. Cowl for an infant.
Colander n. Someone who arrives with you on the same plane.
Coroner n. A round corner
Cytology n. The study of real estate.
Diode n. A pair of two long poems.
Emotion n. Electron movement (also e-motion).
Evening n. The first Chinese woman God created.
Exercise n. Her former body measurements.
Immediate v. To refrain from mediating.
Liquor n. How a male animal cleans his mate.
Manometer n. An instrument for detecting disguised males in a group of females.
Maritime n. Hour of a wedding.
Nitrate n. The price after sundown.
Season n. Male offspring of Poseidon.
Syntax n. Tariff on immorality.
Tautology n. A riveting, gripping study.
Argument
(ahr•gyoo•munt) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, and continues until he realizes it.

Airhead
(ayr•hed) n. An act you put on when pulled over for speeding.
100 Funny Words in English
Bar-be-que
(bar•buh•Q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up—for the dinner he made for his friends."

Blonde jokes
(blahnd joks) n. Jokes short enough for men to understand.

Cantaloupe
(kant•e•lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.

Clothes dryer
(kloze drI•yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet soda
(dI•it so•duh) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

Diamond
(dI-mun) n. Something you think should be on your finger but he can only see in a baseball park.

Eternity
(e•ter•ni•tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise
(ex•er•siz) v. Walking up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery list
(grow•sree list) n What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair dresser
(hare dres•er) n. A magician who creates a hair style you can never duplicate.

Hardware store
(hard•wer stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space: once he goes in, he isn't coming out any time soon.

Housework
(haws•wrk) n. Work around the house including moping and washing dishes.

Childbirth
(chIld•brth) n. You go through 36 hours of contractions. He holds your hand and says, "focus...breathe...push...."

Lipstick
(lip•stik) n. On your lips, a color to enhance your beauty of your mouth. On his collar, a color only a tramp would wear.

Park
(pahrk) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning "a place with a swing set and slide".

Patience
(pay•shuns) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."

Waterproof mascara
(wah•tr•pruf mas•ka•ruh) n. Mascara that comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but not when you try to remove it.

Valentine's Day
(va•lun•tInz dae) n. A day when you dream of a candle light dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.
Author: Unknown / Contributor: John Masher
Synonym, n. A linguist's favorite spice on baked apples.
Bide, v. Past tense of buy.
Goad, v. Past tense of go.
Octopus, n. A cat with eight legs.
Catacomb, n. What a feline uses to straighten its hair.
Medieval, adj. Not completely wicked.
Biology, n. The scientific study of the number two.
Atom, n. The first particle of the universe.
Hole-in-One, n. What an amateur golfer gets when he reaches down to get his ball out of the up and his pants rip.
Prophet, n. What a greedy religious organization ultimately desires (as opposed atheism, a non-prophet organization).
Thesaurus, n. A dinosaur that studies words.
Professor, n. Opposite of confessor.
Phony, adj. Related to telephones.
Silverfish, n. A precious fish that is not quite as good as a goldfish.
Congress, n. The antonym of progress.
Hamlet, n. A small pig.
Tooth, adj. The ordinal number for two.
Artery, n. The study of paintings.
Bacteria, n. The back door of a cafeteria.
Barium, n. What doctors recommend when their patients die.
Benign, adj. What you be after you be eight.
Caesarean section, np. High-rent area in Rome.
Cat scan, np. A search for kitty.
Cauterize, v. Made eye contact with her.
Colic, n. A breed of sheep dog.
Coma, n. A punctuation mark of consciousness.
Dilate, v. To live a long life.
Disaster, vp. What happened to the lady who backed into a propellor
Fibula, n. A small lie.
Impotent, adj. Distinguished, well known.
Labor pain, np. The result of a work injury.
Medical Staff, np. A doctor's walking cane.
Morbid, adj. A higher offer.
Nitrates, npl. A price cheaper than day rates.
Node, v. Past tense of knew.
Outpatient, n. A person who has fainted.
Pelvis, n. Elvis's second cousin.
Postoperative, n. A mailman or letter carrier.
Recovery room, np. Place to do upholstery.
Rectum, v. Nearly killed him.
Secretion, n. A hiding place.
Seizure, n. An alcoholic Roman emperor.
Tablet, n. A small table.
Terminal illness, np. Airport sickness.
Tumor, n. One more than one more.

Urine, vp. Where you are when you aren't out.

Really Funny Jokes