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Jokes For Kids Defination

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The preschool teacher says, "We're going to do vocabulary today. Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?"

Mary raises her hand and exclaims, "Me me me!"

The teacher says, "Go ahead, what's the sentence?

Mary replies, "The sky is definitely blue."

"That's good, Mary," says the teacher, "but the sky can also be gray or white."

Sam raises his hand and states, "Grass is definitely green."

The teacher says, "That's good, Sam, but grass can be brown, too."

Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, "Do farts have lumps in them?"

The teacher says, "No Johnny, why do you ask that?"

Little Johnny replies, "Well, I definitely sh*t my pants."

something said or done to provoke laughter or cause amusement, as a witticism, a short and amusing anecdote, or a prankish act: He tells very funny jokes. She played a joke on him.

something that is amusing or ridiculous, especially because of being ludicrously inadequate or a sham; a thing, situation, or person laughed at rather than taken seriously; farce: Their pretense of generosity is a joke. An officer with no ability to command is a joke.

a matter that need not be taken very seriously; trifling matter: The loss was no joke.

something that does not present the expected challenge; something very easy: The test was a joke for the whole class.

practical joke.

verb (used without object), joked, jok·ing.

to speak or act in a playful or merry way: He was always joking with us.

to say something in fun or teasing rather than in earnest; be facetious: He didn't really mean it, he was only joking.

verb (used with object), joked, jok·ing.

to subject to jokes; make fun of; tease.

to obtain by joking: The comedian joked coins from the audience.

joke (dʒəʊk)

— n

1. a humorous anecdote

2. something that is said or done for fun; prank

3. a ridiculous or humorous circumstance

4. a person or thing inspiring ridicule or amusement; butt

5. a matter to be joked about or ignored

6. joking apart seriously: said to recall a discussion to seriousness after there has been joking

7. no joke something very serious

— vb

8. ( intr ) to tell jokes

9. ( intr ) to speak or act facetiously or in fun

10. to make fun of (someone); tease; kid

[C17: from Latin jocus a jest]

Q: What do you call a person that doesn't fart in public? A: a PRIVATE TUTOR. Q: What's the definition of bravery? A: a man with diarrhea chancing a fart! Q: Why don't little girls fart? A: Because they don't have assholes until they're married. Q: What is the Definition of bravery? A: Someone who has diarrhea and chances a fart. Q: What is the sharpest thing in the world? A: A Fart. It goes through your pants and doesn't even leave a hole. Q: What do you get if you eat refried beans and onions? A: Tear Gas. Q: What did the maxi-pad say to the fart? A: You are the wind beneath my wings. Q: What did the high Priest comment before he flushed the toilet? A: Holy Crap! Q: What does Mitt Romney say when he farts? A: Obama did it. Q: What do you call "fart" in German? A: Farfrompoopin! Q: What is it called when Queen of England farts? A: A noble gas. Q: What does it mean to 'cupcake' someone? A: Fart in your hand and put you hand in someone's face A skeleton was trying to fart in a crowded place. But in the end it couldn't 'cos it had no guts. Why fart and waste when you can burp and taste? I fart. Why?....... because it's the only gas I can afford. If you fart during a game of Twister, you are dead to me. Laugh and the world laughs with you; fart and they'll stop laughing. While at dinner party, a man farts. Other man says “How dare you fart in front of my wife”. First man says “Sorry, I didn’t realize it was her turn”. Doctor's Visit Doctor: "What seems to be the problem today?" Patient: "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time," The Doctor nods, "Hmm." Patient: "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times." "Hmm," says the Doctor, as he picks up his pad and writes out a prescription. The patient is thrilled "Thank you Doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?" "No," sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses, it stinks like a fermented diaper in here. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test." Car Shopping A lady walks into a BMW dealership. She browses around, spots the Top-of-the-line Beemer and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to feel the fine leather upholstery, she inadvertently breaks Wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady With, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her accident, she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?" He answers, "Madam, if you farted just touching it, you are going to shit yourself when I tell you the price." Pilots There was a Mexican, a American and a Japanese pilot. They were taking turns flying over each of ther countries so they were flying over Kapan and the Japanese guy drops an apple on his country and the other two ask why he did that and he said "Because I love my country!" So they went on to Mexico and the Mexican drops an orange on his country so the other two asked why he did that and he said "Because I love my country" So they went on to America and the American drops a bomb on his country so the other two asked him why he did that and he said "Because I hate my country" So they landed in their respective countries and the Japanese guy was walking and he saw a kid crying so he said whats the matter and the kid said an apple fell out of the sky and hit me in the head. Then the Mexican was walking and he saw a kid crying so he asked what happened and the kid said an orange fell out of the sky and hit him in the head. Then the American was walking and he saw a kid laughing and he ask what are you so happy about and he said "I farted and the building behind me exploded" Teachers Lesson The teacher asked little Johnny to use the word " definitely " in a sentence. Little Johnny replies, "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?" The Teacher says, "Of course not Johnny," To which Johnny replies, "Then I have definitely s**t my pants,". Restaurant A woman walks into a restaurant and takes a seat. As she bends down to reach into her purse for her wallet, she farts loudly, with the Waiter right behind her. Shocked, she sits back up abruptly, glares at the waiter and shouts "Stop That!" To which the Waiter replies "Sure, Which Way Did It Go?" Fart Dixie A broke dirty Cowboy walks into a bar and says, "Gimme whiskey." The bartender says, "I'll have to see your money first." "I'm broke, but if you give me a bottle of whiskey, I'll get up on that stage and fart Dixie!" The bartender had never seen someone fart any kind of song, so he agrees. The Cowboy drinks the whole bottle of whiskey, then staggers up on stage and the audience start applauding. Then he drops his pants and the audience start cheering even louder. Then, he proceeds to shit all over the stage, and everyone gets disgusted and leave. The bartender screams, "You said you were gonna fart Dixie! Not shit all over my stage!" And the Cowboy replies, "Hey! Even Frank Sinatra had to clear his throat before he sang!" Starbucks A man walks into a Starbucks with his iphone... He suddenly realises he needs to fart. He logs into Itunes and ups the volume thinking 'the music is loud no one will hear' So he farts... When he looks around, everyone's staring at him Then he realises... He was listening to his iphone with headphones. Brothel Man goes to a brothel. The Madam is out of women but, since the guy is Polish she thinks she can get away with a blow up doll and he will never know the difference. Being a bit nervous because she has never tried this one before, The Madam waits outside the door. The Polack comes out in five minutes. "How was it?", says the Madam. "I don't know," says the Polak, "I bit her on the tit and she farted and flew out the window!" Elderly Couple An elderly couple go to church one Sunday. Halfway through the service, the wife leans over and whispers in her husbands ear, "I've just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?" The husband replies, "Put a new battery in your hearing aid." Your Mom Your moms so poor, I farted and she said who turned on the heat. Your moms so old, she farts dust. Your mom so fat when she farted in the Gulf of Mexico it caused Hurricane Katrina Farting Pick Up Lines Did you fart? 'cuz you just blew me away! Mind if I hang out here until its safe back where I farted? Did you fart....Because you are blowing me away! Hey, somebody farted. Let's get out of here.

Jokes For Kids