Jokes In Punjabi Funny for Facebook Images and Hindi Latest Very Funny In Urdu : Funny Jokes Sms Jokes In Punjabi Funny for Facebook Images and Hindi Latest Very Funny In Urdu

Sunday, 22 June 2014

Funny Jokes Sms Jokes In Punjabi Funny for Facebook Images and Hindi Latest Very Funny In Urdu

Funny Jokes Sms Defination

source(gogle.com.pk)

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

"Good morning, madam. You don't know me, but I've come to. ."

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies."

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing.

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out."

"Bathtub? Living room floor?

No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."

"Don't I know!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London."

"Oh my God!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture.

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

"Yes," the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your uh . . . equipment?"

"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."

"Tripod?" Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Madam? Madam?.

Ek ladka gadhe ke samne gir gaya.

Ek khubsurat ladki ne dekha aur kaha apne bade bhai ka pair chhu rahe ho kya?

Ladka : ji bhabhiji.

What is secret of succes?

“by Right Decisions”

How do you make right decisions?

“by Experience”

How do you get experience?

“by Wrong Decision”

Sardar: Station jaane k kitne logay?

Rikshawala: 50

Sardar: 20 lelo

Riksha: 20 main kon le k jaayeega?

Sardar: tum piche bheto hum leke jaayega

2 boys with Sardar where going on a Motor cycle.

Policeman gives hand to stop.

Sardar shouted oye pehle hi teen bhete hai tu kaha bethega…!

Sardar: Oye tu har message Do dafa q karta hay?

2nd Sardar: Taa k tu aik Forward kar de to doosra tere pas rahay!

School mein Master ji ne chote santa se poocha:

Jisme koyi kami nahi usko kya kehte hai.?

aur jawab aayi:

Wayward children are never naughty - they are bold.

To be tired or broken down is to be banjaxed or knackered.

To procrastinate or delay something is to put it on the long finger.

A sub-standard dwelling is called a kip.

If someone is annoying you, they are blaggarding.

To ask someone to be quiet you might say whisht!

A scratcher is a bed, and the jacks is a toilet.

To emphasise something the word fierce is often used, as in 'fierce hard' [ie difficult] or 'he has a fierce strong accent'. The words quare8or awful can also be used to denote emphasis.

To accomplish something quickly is to do it fairly lively.

Shenanigans refers to intrigue, trickery or hidden manoeuvres designed to effect a certain outcome.

Will and Guy's Top Twenty Funny Irish Phrases

Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria.