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Funny Blonde Jokes Defination

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Q: Why do blondes make bad bankrobbers?

A: Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards

Q: What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny blonde?

A: One's a phony buck.

Q: Whats better than roses on a naked blonde?

A: Her Tulips ( two lips ) on your organ!

Q: What is every blonde's ambition in life?

A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot?

A: Bigfoot has been sighted.

Q: What can save a dying blonde?

A: Hair transplants..

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?

A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets!

Q: How is a blonde like peanut-butter?

A: They spread for the bread.

Q: Why do blondes get confused in the ladies room?

A: They have to pull their own pants down.

Q: Why did the blonde get blown up into pieces

A: Because she bought a Palestinian Blow Up Doll from the Sex Shop

Q: Why do blondes wear panties?

A: To keep their ankles warm.

Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?

A: Her IQ goes up!

Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?

A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day?

A: Give her a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."

Q: How can you tell a blonde has used your computer?

A: There is white out on the screen.

Q: How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?

A: Opens the car door.

Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?

A: Because it said 'concentrate'.

Q: Why are blondes bad at Hide and Seek?

A: Because they can never find the sausage.

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

A: When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.

Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?

A: They both swallowed a lot of semen.

Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde?

A: Butter is difficult to spread.

Q: Why do blondes always want boob jobs?

A: Because it's the only job they are qualified for.

Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?

A: The cow fell on her.

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?

A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.

Q: How do you drown a blonde?

A: Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?

A: She moved.

Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?

A: They both get fucked up when they're on their back.

Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?

A: It takes too long to retrain them.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?

A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?

A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.

Q: How do you kill a blonde?

A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.

Q: What do you call a blond with a brain?

A: A golden retriever.

Q: Why did the blonde couple freeze to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?

A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".

Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?

A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!

Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?

A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q: Why dont blondes talk while having sex?

A: Their moms told them NEVER to talk to strangers.

Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?

A: A blonde parade.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet?

A: Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.

Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?

A: She found out Big Ben is only a clock.

Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?

A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?

A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?

A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?

A: Her ankles.

Q: What do Blondes say after sex? A1: Thanks Guys. A2: Are you boys all in the same band? A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?

A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.

Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?

A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.

Q: What do you call a hundred blondes stacked up on each other?

A: An air mattress.

Q: Where do you look for blondes' obituaries?

A: Under "Home Improvements."

Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?

A: She fell out of the tree.

Q: What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes?

A: She sticks it in the microwave!

Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?

A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?

A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.

Q: Why do blondes give such good blowjobs?

A: Because that's what they train for all their lives.

Q: Why did the blonde have square boobs?

A: Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the box!

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?

A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche

Q: Why does a blonde dog have lumps on his head?

A: From chasing parked cars!

Q: Why did the blonde jump over the glass wall?

A: So she could see what was on the other side!

Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?

A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.

Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?

A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.

Q: What do blondes and dog shit have in common?

A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?

A: You can park in the handicap zone.

Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?

A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?

A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?

A: A whine cellar.

Q: What happened after the blonde ran to meet her long lost twin sister?

A: She got 7 years of bad luck for breaking her nose on the mirror

Q: How do you keep a blonde busy?

A: Put "flip" on both sides of a piece of paper!

Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?

A: Because it kept falling out.