Jokes In Punjabi Funny for Facebook Images and Hindi Latest Very Funny In Urdu : Funny Christmas Jokes Jokes In Punjabi Funny for Facebook Images and Hindi Latest Very Funny In Urdu

Funny Christmas Jokes Defination

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Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.

Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that You actually look forward to the trip.

Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says midway "See I am not injured yet."

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.

Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Classic novel np. A book which people praise, but seldom read.

Compromise n. The art of slicing a cake in such a way that everyone believes they received the biggest piece.

Conference n. The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Conference room np. A place where everyone talks, no one listens, and later everyone disagrees about what was said.

Doctor n. A person who kills your ills with pills then kills you with bills.

Etc. abb. An abbreviation that makes others think you know more than you actually do.

Father n. The banker that nature provides.

Lecture n. The art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the lecturees without passing through the minds of either.

Office n. A place where you can relax after a strenuous night at home.

Smile n. A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Tears n. The means by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.

These are real words!

CLINCHPOOPER: Someone who is a complete slob.

WISTERPOOPER: A slap along side the head.

THENAN: The palm of the hand.

So...If your kid is a CLINCHPOOPER, you should WISTERPOOPER them with your THENAN! LOL!

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Funny definitions:

ABASH: A high school graduation party.

ABDICATE: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

ACCOUNT: A Countess's husband.

ACRE: Literally means the amount of land plowable in one day. So in my case it would be four feet by four feet.

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

ANTIQUE: An item your grandparents bought, your parents got rid of, and you're buying again.

ARBITRATOR (ar'-bi-tray'-ter): A cook that leaves Arby's to work at Burger King.

ATHEISM is a non-prophet organization. -- George Carlin

AVOIDABLE (uh-voy'-duh-buhl'): What a bullfighter tries to do.

BALDERDASH: A rapidly receding hairline.

BARIUM: What we do to most people when they die.

BATHROOM: A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom to be self-cleaning.

BEAUTY PARLOR: Places where women curl up and dye.

BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.

CANTALOUPE: Gotta get married in a church.

CAR SICKNESS: The feeling you get when the car payment is due.

CATALOGS: Rails used to build cow fences.

CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

CLASSIC: A book which people praise, but do not read.

CLOTHES DRYER: An appliance designed to eat socks.

COFFEE: A person who is coughed upon.

COLLEGE: The four year period when parents are permitted access to the telephone.

COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

COMPROMISE: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

CONTROL (kon'-trol): A short, ugly inmate.

COURTESY: The art of yawning with your mouth closed.

DERANGE: Where de buffalo roam.

DICTIONARY: A place where success comes before work.

DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

DIVORCE: Future tense of marriage.

DOCTOR: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

EMERGENCY NUMBERS: Police station, Fire Department and Places that deliver.

Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.\

ETERNITY: The last two minutes of a football game.

EYEDROPPER (i'-drop-ur): A clumsy ophthalmologist.

EXPERIENCE : The name men give to their mistakes.

FABLE: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.

FAMILY PLANNING: the art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

FANCY RESTAURANT: One that serves cold soup on purpose.

FATHER: A banker provided by nature.

FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

FLABBERGASTED: Appalled over how much weight you have gained.

FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him/her.

GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

GRANDMOTHER: A baby-sitter who doesn't hang around the refrigerator.

GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

GROCERY LIST:. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

GUM: Adhesive for the hair.