Kid Jokes

Kid Jokes Defination

source(gogle.com.pk)
She meant it as a joke, but many people took her seriously.
They played a harmless joke on him.
They are always making jokes about his car.
I heard a funny joke yesterday.
the punch line of a joke
I didn't get the joke.
That exam was a joke.
Their product became a joke in the industry.
He's in danger of becoming a national joke.
My friends would joke about the uniform I had to wear at work.
She joked about the possibility of losing her job.
I thought he was joking when he said he might quit, but it turned out that he really meant it.
Don't take it seriously: I was only joking.
She spent a few minutes joking with reporters after giving her speech.
She joked that she could always get work as a truck driver if she lost her job.
First Known Use of JOKE

Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.

Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that You actually look forward to the trip.

Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says midway "See I am not injured yet."

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.

Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Classic novel np. A book which people praise, but seldom read.
Compromise n. The art of slicing a cake in such a way that everyone believes they received the biggest piece.
Conference n. The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Conference room np. A place where everyone talks, no one listens, and later everyone disagrees about what was said.
Doctor n. A person who kills your ills with pills then kills you with bills.
Etc. abb. An abbreviation that makes others think you know more than you actually do.
Father n. The banker that nature provides.
Lecture n. The art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the lecturees without passing through the minds of either.
Office n. A place where you can relax after a strenuous night at home.
Smile n. A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Tears n. The means by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.
Acre n. Someone that aches
Afterdraft n. Life following conscription
Atomize v. To transform from a male cat to a female.
Carnation n. Country where each citizen owns an automobile
Childhood n. Cowl for an infant.
Colander n. Someone who arrives with you on the same plane.
Coroner n. A round corner
Cytology n. The study of real estate.
Diode n. A pair of two long poems.
Emotion n. Electron movement (also e-motion).
Evening n. The first Chinese woman God created.
Exercise n. Her former body measurements.
Immediate v. To refrain from mediating.
Liquor n. How a male animal cleans his mate.
Manometer n. An instrument for detecting disguised males in a group of females.
Maritime n. Hour of a wedding.
Nitrate n. The price after sundown.
Season n. Male offspring of Poseidon.
Syntax n. Tariff on immorality.
Tautology n. A riveting, gripping study.
Argument
(ahr•gyoo•munt) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, and continues until he realizes it.

Airhead
(ayr•hed) n. An act you put on when pulled over for speeding.
100 Funny Words in English
Bar-be-que
(bar•buh•Q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up—for the dinner he made for his friends."

Blonde jokes
(blahnd joks) n. Jokes short enough for men to understand.

Cantaloupe
(kant•e•lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.

Clothes dryer
(kloze drI•yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet soda
(dI•it so•duh) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

Diamond
(dI-mun) n. Something you think should be on your finger but he can only see in a baseball park.

Eternity
(e•ter•ni•tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise
(ex•er•siz) v. Walking up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery list
(grow•sree list) n What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair dresser
(hare dres•er) n. A magician who creates a hair style you can never duplicate.

Hardware store
(hard•wer stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space: once he goes in, he isn't coming out any time soon.

Housework
(haws•wrk) n. Work around the house including moping and washing dishes.

Childbirth
(chIld•brth) n. You go through 36 hours of contractions. He holds your hand and says, "focus...breathe...push...."

Lipstick
(lip•stik) n. On your lips, a color to enhance your beauty of your mouth. On his collar, a color only a tramp would wear.

Park
(pahrk) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning "a place with a swing set and slide".

Patience
(pay•shuns) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."

Waterproof mascara
(wah•tr•pruf mas•ka•ruh) n. Mascara that comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but not when you try to remove it.

Valentine's Day
(va•lun•tInz dae) n. A day when you dream of a candle light dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

Author: Unknown / Contributor: John Masher

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