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Saturday, 14 June 2014

Dirty Jokes

Dirty Jokes Defination

source(gogle.com.pk)

a : not clean or pure <dirty clothes>

b : likely to befoul or defile with dirt <dirty jobs>

c : contaminated with infecting organisms <dirty wounds>

d : containing impurities <dirty coal>

a : morally unclean or corrupt: as (1) : indecent, vulgar <dirty jokes> <a dirty movie> (2) : dishonorable, base <a dirty trick> (3) : unsportsmanlike <dirty players>

b : acquired by disreputable or illegal means : ill-gotten <dirty money>

c : disagreeable, distasteful, or objectionable but usually necessary (as in achieving a desired result) <hired a thug to do their dirty work>

a : abominable, hateful <war is a dirty business>

b : highly regrettable <a dirty shame>

c : likely to cause disgrace or scandal <dirty little secrets>

: foggy, stormy <dirty weather>

a of color : not clear and bright : dullish <dirty blond>

b : characterized by a husky, rasping, or raw tonal quality <dirty trumpet tones>

: conveying ill-natured resentment <gave him a dirty look>

— dirt·i·ly adverb

— dirt·i·ness noun

See dirty defined for English-language learners »

See dirty defined for kids »

Examples of DIRTY

All my socks are dirty.

Try not to get your clothes dirty.

I can't breathe this dirty city air.

The baby has a dirty diaper.

I hate listening to his dirty jokes.

First Known Use of DIRTY

14th century

Related to DIRTY

Synonyms

bedraggled, befouled, begrimed, bemired, besmirched, black, blackened, cruddy, dingy, draggled, dusty, filthy, foul, grimy, grotty [chiefly British], grubby, grungy, mucky, muddy, nasty, smudged, smutty, soiled, sordid, stained, sullied, unclean, uncleanly

Antonyms

clean, cleanly, immaculate, spick-and-span (or spic-and-span), spotless, stainless, ultraclean, unsoiled, unstained, unsullied

Related Words

contaminated, defiled, germy, impure, polluted, tainted; insanitary, uncleaned, unsanitary, unsterile, unsterilized, unwashed; greasy, gunky; chaotic, cluttered, confused, disarranged, disarrayed, disheveled (or dishevelled), disordered, jumbled, littered, messed, messy, muddled, mussed, mussy, rumpled, scruffy, sloppy, slovenly, unkempt, untidy; raunchy, scuzzy [slang], shabby, skanky [slang], sleazy, squalid; collied [chiefly British dialect], crocked [dialect], fuliginous, sooty

Near Antonyms

clear, limpid, pure; cleaned, cleansed, combed, groomed, neat, ordered, orderly, tidy; bleached, purified, whitened; bright, flawless, perfect, shiny, sparkling, unspotted, untouched; taintless, unblemished, undefiled, unpolluted, untainted, virgin, wholesome

contaminate, defile, pollute, taint; discolor; confuse, disarrange, disarray, dishevel, disorder, draggle, jumble, mess, muddle; colly [chiefly British dialect], crock [dialect]

Near Antonyms

decontaminate, purge, purify; disinfect, sanitize; brush, dry-clean, dust, launder, mop, rinse, scour, scrub, sweep, wash, wipe; brighten, deodorize, freshen, renew, spruce (up); straighten (up), tidy (up)

unclean or impure. dirty emphasizes the presence of dirt more than an emotional reaction to it <a dirty littered street>. filthy carries a strong suggestion of offensiveness and typically of gradually accumulated dirt that begrimes and besmears <a stained greasy floor, utterly filthy>. foul implies extreme offensiveness and an accumulation of what is rotten or stinking <a foul-smelling open sewer>. nasty applies to what is actually foul or is repugnant to one expecting freshness, cleanliness, or sweetness <it's a nasty job to clean up after a sick cat>. In practice, nasty is often weakened to the point of being no more than a synonym of unpleasant or disagreeable <had a nasty fall> <his answer gave her a nasty shock>. squalid adds to the idea of dirtiness and filth that of slovenly neglect <squalid slums>. All these terms are also applicable to moral uncleanness or baseness or obscenity. dirty then stresses meanness or despicableness <don't ask me to do your dirty work>, while filthy and foul describe disgusting obscenity or loathsome behavior <filthy street language> <a foul story of lust and greed>, and nasty implies a peculiarly offensive unpleasantness <a stand-up comedian known for nasty humor>. Distinctively, squalid implies sordidness as well as baseness and dirtiness <engaged in a series of squalid

The leader tells them to go out into the woods and pick ten of any fruit they find then come back.

The first man comes back with ten apples.

The leader says to him "If you can stick all ten apples up your ass without making and sound or facial expression then you will be set free. If you fail we will eat you."

He only manages to get two in before cringing in pain, and thus he is eaten and sent to heaven.

The second man comes back with ten blueberries and the leader gives him the same task as he gave the first man.

He gets nine blueberries in when all of a sudden he burst out laughing, and so he is eaten and sent to heaven, where he meets the first man again.

The first man is extremely confused and asks his friend, "What happened! you had the easiest fruit, why the hell did you start laughing!"

To which the second man replies, "I saw the last guy coming back with pineapples"

One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

First Lady:Whats that?

Second Lady: A condom. This way my cigarette doesnt get wet.

First Lady: Where did you get it?

Second Lady : You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years old), but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.

Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.

Dirty Jokes